Strange IM conversation came my way the other night, whilst discussing some code a team I led wrote at a previous workplace, I think it highlights some crucial factors Oracle bring to the Enterprise Java World:
anon 9:04PM
[about that code]crazymcphee 9:05 PM
well, it WAS perfect … CRAZY perfectanon 9:06 PM
lol… no doubt it even spans a 2yr time frame and 2 organisational puchases later, with no impactcrazymcphee 9:07 PM
exactly. all future and past and alternative universe combinations taken care of forever. no changes necessary.anon 9:08 PM
sweeet… it should be a productcrazymcphee 9:08 PM
oh it already is just not in this instantiation of the multiverseanon 9:08 PM
this instance has finished run level 3 yetcrazymcphee 9:08 PM
but in those OTHER multiverses, Oracle already bought it for $500milanon 9:09 PM
hahaha, i can see you partying with ellison and his geisha girls ;Dcrazymcphee 9:09 PM
tried a ‘sudo shutdown’ but something’s threadlocked the kernelanon 9:10 PM
then I stepped in a core dumpcrazymcphee 9:10 PM
that’s why i’m hard at work building a mutiverse portal so i get me a slice of sweet ellison geisha-girl actionand here you are thinking about some OTHER sort of portal when i said i was working on an ‘Oracle 10g Portal Implementation’
anon 9:11 PM
don’t forget to add some proprietary and intrusive components that spread like a virus and grind all the other appservers to dustcrazymcphee 9:12 PM
well, that’s what at least half of those 10^100 multiverses full of new Indian IT grads are working onI just send them a 500 page spec each month and they will get it to me at sometime before the death of this multiverse
anon 9:13 PM
that means it should be about ready by now, well as in it probably compiles in at least one of those multiverses, will be fully cmm lvl 5, yet not actually do what you askedcrazymcphee 9:13 PM
(oh by ‘spec’ i mean, a drunken rant shouted into my mobile phone on the walk home)well, yes, but i’m fully expecting it will meet oracle’s stringent marketing requirements
anon 9:14 PM
well shit, they have to do some work, what do they expect, 4 u to write the code as wellyes marketing tickbox on the packaging is the only requirements they really need
crazymcphee 9:15 PM
yeah, i mean, hell, we pay at least $5.50 a day per developer …oh we don’t tell the DEVELOPERS about the marketing tickbox requirements! they are super-secret. we just slap those on the box at the end. when i say ‘end’ i mean end of the box design process which has been ready for about 8 months now.
